this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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