if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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