were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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