it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
