Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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