There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
