I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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