oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
