I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
