I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
