question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
