i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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