also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
