I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
