I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
