eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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