is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
