she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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