Jerry, you need to find god
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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