i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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