very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
