A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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