where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
