He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
