Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
