We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
