I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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