Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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