Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize