my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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