she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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