absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and she was petting her beer can
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
