Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize