i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
