And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
