Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
