i wish starbucks made bloody marys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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