Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
