So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize