help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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