So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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