Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she peed on how many people?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
