worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
