yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
