Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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