We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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