47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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