I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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