Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
