So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
