he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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