apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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