I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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