we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
