Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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