yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
honey bunches of taint.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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