She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
