I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
