if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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