so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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