we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize