Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is the high leading the old right now
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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