i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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