A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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