So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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