am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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